About the accomplished bike theft:
According to Murphys Law I'd just finished the repair of my bikes' brakes the other day (for reasons described here). There happend to be a political rally on a nearby spot the very next day. But not only politics was at work that day: As a strike against democracy and and the free world in general, my beloved bike (that I had bought for little money and which was ridable like a dream) got stolen !!
Obviously and without any reasonable doubt, any clear thinking individual would come to the conclusion, that some other individual, in common terms called 'thief', and belonging to a country that again belonged to the axis of evil, must have comitted this crime. I don't know if this is right since the notorious axles seem to be moving around pretty much.
However, I called a fatherly friend, let's call him Ronald (who is known for knowing much about axles) shortly after and he confirmed to me that my confirmedness was absolutely correct, especially since it perfectly fitted into the political correctness situation. Ronald also told me a lot about time and parallel continents. Europe is said to be such a parallel continent, if I remember right. Some of its inhabitants live in the New Europe, some in the Old Europe. It's actually too demanding for me but from what I understood it must have to do with physics. Well, Ronald continued mentioning that Sources from the Pentagon would certainly assert my position and that even a connection with Al Qaeda was imaginable.
At this point I got pretty much scared about this news and decided not to ask any further.
About the attempted bike theft:
Some time later, the leaves were green again, I got this old bike from the 1950s from some retired fellow. The bike looked real great if you love those old machines from the first half of the past 20th century. It had a huge front lamp (almost as big as a car front lamp of those days), a nice huge but uncomfy leather saddle and a big dynamo and a hand brake that wouldn't work properly.
Actually, its only disadvantage was that it woudn't ride since there was something wrong with its chain and the nave. I decided to dismantle the usable or historically valuable parts at some later point of time.
Now, I had moved to another place in the meantime and that bike got stolen after a party right in front of my new home. I assume, this time it must have been a collegiate thief because he didnt know his business well: As I said, the bike was actually un-ridable. And it was virtually impossible to attach the chain to the cogs. Having this in mind, I was very relaxed watching out for the bike in the morning.
And indeed: Just looking around the corner, I saw my old babe leaning peacefully against a hedge some 50 metres away. As I arrived, I was not little amazed: The chain was really attached to the cogs, it looked damn tautly, but there was no denying it: It was properly mounted.
I said to myself: "Wow... well done !!" I was really surprised.
As there was something wrong with the nave... the wheel just wouldn't turn. However, being there and seeing this chain properly attached I thought: "Why not give it another try?!"
Ok... I put my foot onto the pedal, gave some load to it... and bent the big front cog at once which was obviously made from some inferior after-war material.
Until this day I wonder why the thief did not bend it before me...
